Greg TeSelle

I mentioned in my last post that we have weekly Family Meetings. As the kids got older, and their lives more complicated, it seemed like a good idea to have a weekly “check-in” together. It’s been a pleasant surprise.

Each week, usually Sunday evening, our family cooks and eats dinner together, then we hang out to discuss life. Here is a rough draft of our agenda.

1) Any news to report? This could be anything you want to share. A relationship change, future travel plans, personal struggles or victories, seeking advice or opinions, confession, health updates, etc. Nothing is off-limits.

2) Review the week’s schedule. Our family has a shared calendar on our iPhones. We review upcoming stuff as well as see who is around this week for dinners, etc. It’s good to know each other’s general schedules.

3) Quote of the week. I will share a thought-provoking quote for us to discuss. Sometimes we all just nod our heads in agreement, while other times we will chat about it for a few minutes.

4) Short teaching from dad. This isn’t anything super deep or theological. It is mostly a time to keep us focused on the big picture of life. We have found it doesn’t take too long before we start to focus on things that don’t matter.

5) Who is the next recipient of a Love Basket? You’ll need to read my previous post to understand.

6) Pray. We believe in the power of prayer. Not because of the words we say, but because of Who we are saying them to. We also know a family that prays together has a deeper love for each other.

Family Meetings can last anywhere from 30 -60 minutes depending on how tired I am. #grandpagreg

One day I know these family meetings will stop. But for now, we enjoy listening, sharing, learning, praying, and serving together.

Once COVID19 reached the USA, and lockdowns started taking place, many of our opportunities to serve people were sadly eliminated.

So my family got together and came up with an idea we’ve been doing together now for the past 19 months. We call it “Love Baskets.”

At our weekly family meetings, one of the topics we discuss is “Who should receive our next Love Basket?” Nobody is off limits. It could be a friend, neighbor, classmate, co-worker, stranger, enemy, or anyone that God may bring into our lives. It is someone our family think needs a bit of extra love and encouragement for whatever reason.

Our Love Baskets are physical baskets (about 12″x12″x12″) that we buy at the dollar store. Together, we brainstorm personal, thoughtful, and meaningful items to “fill the basket with love”. We also include a nice hand written card explaining why they are receiving this random basket.

Once our person is chosen and the Love Basket filled, we drop off the basket at their front door and send them a text to let them know they have a delivery at their door. We tell them to get it quickly before something either melts, blows away, or before someone walks by and steals it.

We typically think most people don’t receive enough encouragement and love in our world today.

Hence… Love Baskets.

This spring, family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and complete strangers, enjoyed juicy, sweet, peaches from two peach trees in my backyard. They were delicious! My favorite dessert all summer long was fresh peaches with some vanilla ice cream!

I inherited these peach trees when I bought our house a few years ago. The first couple years I had plenty of peaches to enjoy. But last year, my peach trees didn’t produce any peaches at all. Not even one. I was confused. I didn’t understand what was going on. I thought I killed them, or didn’t do something right. It just didn’t make any sense.

Since I’m not an arborist, I did some research.

Turns out, these peach trees require 50 continues days of temperatures below 45 degrees during the winter, or they don’t produce any peaches in the spring! The year I had no peaches was a mild winter in Chicagoland. If the winter isn’t cold enough, for a long enough period of time, the peach trees produce nothing.

One of God’s primary tools to produce fruit in my life is pain. Not short term pain, but often times long term pain. If I don’t endure a difficult season ,for a long enough period of time, I tend to go back to the way things were, and I produce nothing. (Love. Joy. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control)

My peach trees reminded me the fruit God produces in my life first requires a difficult season.

The most beautiful people in my life have endured some of the most difficult seasons of life. This is true of my wife Caroline.

ps – remember, not every difficult season in life is orchestrated by God. Sometimes I am in a painful season because I’m an idiot and make bad decisions.

I’m 53 years old. Some people say that is old, some think it is young. Regardless of my numerical age, my physical body, which I have abused in more ways than one, is not nearly as flexible as it once was.

As I get older, my body doesn’t stretch as well, nor does it bend like it used to. It just grows stiffer. I knew these days were coming. I’ve had over 20 orthopedic surgeries in my life, so all this inflexibility, stiffness, and pain was predictable. I stand at my desk all day just to keep my joints moving and the blood pumping.

One thing I didn’t predict however, is that my mind is also getting slightly stiffer. I’ve found myself dismissing new concepts and ideas relatively quickly without much thought or investigation. I was becoming somewhat unwilling to listen to new data or new information about topics across many spectrums. Sadly, my social convictions, beliefs, and “bent” were becoming less flexible over the years, and I was unknowingly becoming “set in my ways”.

But, the good news is this “stiff mindedness” is not inevitable. I also think it is reversible.

Don’t get me wrong here. Stay true to the foundational principles of The Gospel. Don’t waver on the truths and promises of God. At the same time continue to “move your mind”. Keep it loose. Listen, read, converse, dialogue, write, pray, watch, challenge and stretch your mind regularly.

Just because my body is getting stiffer, doesn’t mean my mind has to as well. There are always new things to learn and new insights to acquire.

I will probably end up in a wheel chair relatively soon, buy my mind will be running as fast as ever!

One of the reasons I took an extended break from social media and writing, is because I found myself everywhere, except where I actually was. Let me explain.

I would spend more time reading how screwed up our society and world is, rather than actually help out my neighbors.

I would keep track of what my friends and their families were doing, but ignore my own family at times.

And possibly the most dangerous thing I noticed about myself – the more “bad” news I read about others, the better I felt about myself. Pride was creeping in.

For the record, I don’t think the internet or social media is evil, I was just using it incorrectly. I needed a break.

I needed to be present with my people, and confess to my God.

So I took a break. A long break. There is rarely a quick fix for a “large” issue. Ask any doctor, or dietician. Ask any mechanic, or teacher. Big changes require significant time.

My timeline. Five years.

“Technology has robbed us of ordinary transition spaces and opportunities. As soon as there is a down moment, everyone is back on their phones.” – John Eldridge