Gregory TeSelle

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Valentine’s Day… Ugh

I have been absent from posting for a couple months now. The primary reason… I’m resting in 2012. It’ been great! I will be sharing some benefits of resting in the near future, but for today just a little “vent” about Valentine’s Day.

I don’t much like Valentine’s Day.

There are a lot of reasons for my dislike of Valentine’s Day, but here are a few…

* Candy hearts taste like crap. Who actually eats these things?

* Valentine’s Day traces its roots to an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia, in which men stripped naked, grabbed whips, and spanked young women in hopes of increasing their fertility. That was a bad idea then, and is a bad idea now.

* Single or not, this is a really unhealthy holiday. A month after you’ve pledged to lose the Christmas weight, you are faced with excessive chocolate consumption.

* Take a moment to consider folklore. Cupid was essentially a streaker man-child who used poisoned arrows to create “Eros”. Another bad idea.

* A recent poll found that two in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day. And that’s just the ones that admitted it.

I know I’m in the minority … 40% of American’s have negative feelings toward Valentine’s Day…. but I have a strange feeling in the next couple years I will be in the majority.

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2012 – Here I Come – but Different.

With 2012 starting tomorrow, let me just say you have probably never known anyone more excited about starting a new year then yours truly.

2011 was a roller coaster ride that had some highlights, but had it’s share of “lowlights” as well.

They say that crisis, pain and struggle are the things used in our life to help us learn, grow and get stronger. If this is true, then I am going to be a pretty smart and tough guy.

I am ready to turn the page. I know that there is no “real” difference between December 31 and January 1. It’s just another tick of the clock, a change in numbers… but for me, this new year will mark a change of mental and spiritual attitude.

Here’s some things I am thinking heading into 2012:
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Goodwill

This weekend I received a Christmas gift. It was a gift card to Goodwill. I’ve never received a gift card from Goodwill before. Honestly, I didn’t even know that they were available. I love this gift. I’ll be sure to use it when I get to Chicago.

The Goodwill gift card, along with all the packing we are doing for our move to Chicago, has encouraged me to clean out my closet. I have clothes in that closet that haven’t seen the light of day for years. They aren’t bad clothes. At one time I wore them and now I don’t.

Some of my shirts just aren’t in style anymore. Still others I simply do not like. I wore them once or twice and gave them a try, but you know, I never really liked them.

It’s time for all of these unworn and unused clothes to head on down to Goodwill. Most, if not all, are in very good shape and could be used by someone. So off to Goodwill they go.

You know, most churches I have been a part of need to clean out their closets too.

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Friends

As my departure from Huntersville, NC gets closer, I find myself reflecting on many things. But one area I continue to ponder and be thankful for are the friends that I made here in my short 2 year run.

Relationships are everything.

Friends — in and out of the workplace — keep us healthier, happier, better adjusted, and more empathetic. The converse is also true.

For those of us in leadership, friendships also keep us more connected, humble, and real. I love the friendshps I have with many teenagers, my team of student leaders, and some of the paid staff I worked with. They have made me a better person.

But aren’t there risks? Of course. All good things involve risks. But the abundant returns are well worth the risks….
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Small Groups Aren’t About Me

Many church people think about small groups from strictly a consumer’s perspective.

“The reason I join a small group is for what I get out of it. They help me grow, I enjoy the benefits of the relationships, I get my needs prayed for, I receive the benefits of being encouraged, and more.” – Consumer Christian

Church leaders have taught this consumer mindset. In their desire to get their flock of self-focused Christians in a small group, they have told us all the ways small groups would benefit us. It’s an awkward sales pitch that is only half true.

The truth is, being part of a small group does benefit me, but this can’t be my primary reason for being part of a small group. Otherwise, if I don’t like it, or my needs are getting met, I’ll simply drop out. When I’m too tired from a long workday, I won’t bother going. When it takes too much work to love each other, I’ll just stop attending. After all, my whole reason for being in a small group is for me!

How about church leaders try a different sales pitch for getting people into small groups. How about telling them the entire truth…
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2011 – Beautiful Things

Every December for the past 8 years we have created a short little video to remember the last 365 days together as a family. We have had some great years, and some challenging years.

2011 was a crazy Roller Coaster ride… and we have affectionately nicknamed it “RC11″ for short. In the middle of all the chaos and craziness of life are many beautiful things.

If you don’t look for beautiful things everyday, you’ll miss them. In the middle of pain, when life seems to be a crazy roller coaster out of control, keep you eyes open, and look for the beautiful.
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2012 Declaration

2012 is under a month away! I hope next year is a little scary, a little fun, and includes more positive change.

For me and my family, much of 2012 will be about change and transition. As we plan for the next 365 days, I am making a declaration.

I declare 2012 A YEAR OF REST.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is nothing. Resting requires planning. It doesn’t happen by accident.

In order to make my declaration a reality… here is action step #1.

I will be taking at least 80 days off this next year.

A day off is an absolute requirement to stay healthy. Take a day off or you won’t last, and your relationships won’t last either. Sadly, many people don’t know how to take a day off. Here are a few ideas …
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Backwards

Do you agree with the chart or no?
What do you see happening in your own life?
What do you see the church doing? Teaching?
Biblical or unbiblical?

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Miss the New Car Smell?

This post is for all my friends that are in full-time, paid ministry jobs.

Have you ever experience a loss of excitement for ministry? For whatever reason, you found it more difficult to be fired-up to drive to church. When the morning was done, you were glad you showed up because God did great things, but getting there definitely required more emotional effort than it used to.

Been there?

How did it get to this point? What happened?

It’s good to get into a groove with your ministry, but it can become dangerous when the grove becomes a rut. Week after week, going to the same programs, doing the same things, seeing the same people, singing the same songs, and meeting in the same environment can lead to a “supposed to do” and the routine can drain your passion.

How is it possible to get back the ministry equivalent of the “new car smell”?

If you and I were having coffee, and I knew you had lost some of your excitement for your ministry, I’d simply ask a few trigger questions:
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What Really Works

What really works to bring people into authentic relationship with Jesus? And where is your church spending its effort?

Today’s churches (and individuals) take different approaches to what’s often called outreach, evangelism or being missional. Loads of time, money and attention are spent on certain techniques. Some bear fruit. Most provide poor results.

Some common approaches:

• Academic. This approach includes the teaching ministries of sermons, Bible studies and Sunday school. The assumption is, “If they hear the information, they’ll believe.”

• Transactional. This “sales-oriented” approach may involve crusades and altar calls. The emphasis centers on “closing the sale” or creating urgency for making a decision for Christ.

• Service or event. These approaches include community service days, giveaways at public events, movie showings, comedy concerts, worship services, etc. Proponents believe a good deed leads to belief.

• Relational. This approach is commonly called friendship or personal or lifestyle evangelism. Practitioners introduce Jesus to their friends and relatives through conversation.

So, what works? Different researchers have come to similar conclusions. Here’s a typical result from Church Growth, Inc.:
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Get Off Your “But” – Stephenson

Sean is one of my new heroes.

This is an inspirational and challenging book that is perfect as we are getting ready to launch into another year. Stop making excuses, and get off your butt and read it.

It will change your life.

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Just a simple thank you

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so much to be thankful for that it’s really hard to know where to begin. I am so thankful for my wife, Caroline, who has been a tremendous encourager as we trek through life together.

I am thankful for my children. Gunnar, Tygar, Stone, and Eden. The joy they bring me is almost indescribable.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with good health and material blessings. I am thankful that I have a job where I can be the light of Jesus in a dark place with all kinds of people, with all kinds of struggles. I am thankful that God has blessed me with a few spiritual gifts with which I try to use to serve Him.

I am thankful that I live in a country where I can worship without fear of being arrested and imprisoned for following Jesus.

I am thankful to have so many friends from around the country who have impacted my life. I would not be the same without them.

I am thankful that I serve a God who is totally consumed with love for me and a Father who listens when I talk to Him. I am so thankful that I serve a God who was willing to give His Son to die on a cross so that I can live eternally with Him.

I could write page after page of the all the things I am thankful for and it would take me hours or even days to get it done. So, what can I do or say to God for all He has showered me with.

I think a simple “thank you” is what He wants.

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If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less. – General Eric Shinseki

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Mentor

Who is leading you?
It is crucial that you have someone in your life who is a little further down the path than you; somebody maybe a little older, and for sure a little wiser. The benefits of a seasoned mentor should never be overlooked. Being mentored from a distance is possible, but having someone in real-life is a better option. Being mentored through blogs and books is also a possibility, but without access to discussion the dialogue is decidedly one way.
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Save Me

Though I look forward to leaving this crazy planet one day, getting a brand new body, and going “home” to be with Jesus, I sometimes wish I could be “raptured” right now from some of His followers. Some of Jesus’ followers are just plain weird.

Now I realize there are some (maybe many) of my brothers and sisters in Christ that would love to be “raptured” from me at times….

If you are one of these said family members….
I am sorry. Please forgive me.

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